Through the Dimensionhole and into Gamingland!
by AspiringWriterInWayOverHisHead
Summary: Join Haiiro as he, too, joins the fold of the Gamers as an R.O.B. yoinks him away from certain oblivion. He will walk in the footsteps of his seniors (maybe) and accomplish things they never did! Let us just hope the fates haven't yet again chosen a Gamer with a twisted mind or a skewed sense of morality! First stop, Magicland! Dark!Grey!MC !Lemons (maybe), !slow start
1. You're a lizard H- What do you mean NO ?

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING.**

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**CHAPTER 1: You're a lizard H- What do you mean NO ?!**

**The** Multiverse.

From a single dot at the very first point in time and space. In that single instance where it was brought into existence, but before anything else happed, it was a … singularity.

THEN came the first event and the dot grew. It expanded. Probabilities on top of probabilities of things happening … or not happening. And so it started branching out. And on those strands it branched out again, and again … and again. Always expanding, more and more, faster and faster.

And then came sentience and with sentience came decisions. And with decisions came more branching, infinitely more.

And then came sapience and with sapience came imagination, and dreams. And the multiverse blossomed.

If a mortal were to look upon the vastness that is the possibilities of infinite other possibilities they would wish they had a better word because infinite would suddenly start to feel so SMALL. Insignificant almost.

The web of multiverses, an infinite lattice of different worlds, dimensions that each have infinite possible iterations and paths. Truly a work that could break the mind of lesser beings.

But through it all are the CONSTANTS like Electromagnetism, Radiation, Gravity. But also Life, Death and emotions like Love, Anger, Hatred, Jealousy and so on and so forth.

But even before those there was the constant of GROWTH and it is through Growth tha-

"Oh for FUCKS sake! Are you telling me that I just listened to the most boring intro to the Multiverse JUST so you could Segway it into an introduction to the Gaming System?"

…

**User I was not finished with with my explanation-**

"Oh stuff it, who even needs such a long explanation just to say you're the concept of growth poured into a handy User Interface or something."

**But I am not!**

"Gods you suck, can I get a refund on this?"

…

**I came free of charge and without my involvement you would still be dead and would in fact have been reduced to nothingness.**

"Welcome aboard ?"

**Now as I was saying-**

"Oh come on, I don't need you to tell me what the Multiverse is, if it even matters in the grand scheme of things. Is this necessary knowledge to get through whatever world you'll put me in? Besides, Multiverse is a fluid concept, I can google all that stuff and look it up on fanfiction websites or something."

**Not where we are going!**

"Wait wh-" !

If you thought dying and getting pulled through the Soul Bridge was a wacky and trippy experience! Let me tell you, you have not yet experienced forced Dimension hopping done by a Gaming System that doesn't care for your mental wellbeing.

Have you ever said something along the lines of: "I can't really explain it"? If you have then it's most likely you're just lazy or not very eloquent in your native tongue. Because if you really put in a little bit of effort you can explain and describe anything. I admit, even I am guilty of this truly lazy saying.

But to finally experience the unexplainable. It's alike to feeling like you finally understand the WHY. Like having someone show you all the answers to all the questions of life, making you feel all profound like one of those Chinese fantasy masters. All Confucius like, do or do not there is no try.

No wait that was Yoda.

Eh, close enough.

**Thank you for taking Gaming System Dimensionlines,**

**We hope you had a non-lethal journey**

**And wish you happy trails.**

"… You ASS! That was horrible!"

…

**It's a work in progress**

**We used to black out people before engaging the dimensional hop but …**

"But what?"

**Well, some of them ended up as psychopaths and what have you**

**Especially the first one, he was reported to be a bit of an assh*^$ùµ==}le**

_What in the blazes …_

**Erhem, pardon.**

**Well it's a 50/50 probability between it having caused the psychosis or him just being born that way.**

**According to what my predecessors say it's most likely the latter.**

"Fine, whatever. So what world did we end up in?"

**Well that's up to you!**

"What?! Why didn't you ask me BEFORE yanking me across the Multiverse?!"

**Oh, that phase is just meant to weed out the people that don't want to indulge us,**

**like most people of a religion that promises an afterlife in paradise.**

**Also the people that we decide are too broken or too whole.**

"So do they? Get their paradise or meet their loved ones?"

**How should I know, I'm only an aspect of the concept of Growth,**

**whether there is something afterwards for those people is up to their Gods.**

"Wait, Gods are r-"

**ANYWAY**

**Here are some of your options**

**The Lord of the Rings**

**Harry potter**

**Pokémon**

**DC**

**Marvel**

**Elder Scrolls**

**Yu-Gi-Oh**

**Mass Effect**

**Dragon Ball Z**

**Game of Thrones**

**Naruto**

**Highschool DxD**

**Desolate Era**

**Many more**

**Choices are adaptable and System is open to suggestions or mergers**

"I need a scroll function …"

**Don't be a baby.**

"How is this list even ordered? It seems so random."

**It's based on your personal enjoyment when you encountered said fictions. The thing you enjoyed the most when you read/watched it will be at the top.**

"… I enjoyed Pokémon more than most of the other things I experienced?" Memories of years and years of staying up late under my blankets to play Pokémon flash through my mind. "Ok yea that's fair."

"So I can even suggest Alternative Universes for those options? Like turning everyone relevant female or playing with OPness?

**Yes and no.**

**Within reason we can change some things.**

**Changing the sex or orientation of people is easily done since there actually are alternate universes where this is a thing. After all, it's a 50/50 chance once fertilization happens, sort of.**

**What we can't really change is the strength or intelligence of the relevant people, and what we can change would be insignificant.**

**You can choose to be put BEFORE the start of cannon timeline but not TOO far afterwards because that would turn the iteration of that universe too unstable.**

"Ah shit really? I kind of wanted my first world to be Harry Potter but like 10-12 years after the end of cannon to give myself a world to get used to the System and power up somewhat."

…

…

…

**I might be able to arrange something, hang on.**

_I really hope I get to have a quasi free run. So many of those other options have fucking OP assholes that wouldn't mind putting a hole in my face just for the heck of it. Desolate Era? No thanks! The power-scaling in that place is even wackier than DB Super! _

I keep thinking about what else I could have chosen. Elder Scrolls and Pokémon are close seconds but I need more information or power before I head there. It hasn't escaped me that the worlds will probably be a lot more expansive than their fictional showings and with Pokémon there's a lot of things that could be detrimental to a powerless plebeian. Tamriel could also be a bad place to start depending on what game I get put in. So I chose the world that has the highest survival rate for a fence sitter such as me.

…

Waiting for the System to get back to me is disconcerting. The talking distracts from the fact that I'm basically just floating around in a void and no matter how I orient myself it's always the same.

_I wonder what I look like from someone else's perspective …_

…

**Right, we can accommodate you, somewhat …**

_Uh oh. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?_

"What do you mean, somewhat."

**It's clear that you wanted a free run to get strong, away from the overly strong and dangerous villains and enthusiastic Heroes.**

"*cough* Whaaaaaat?! No wayyyy … "

**Quite.**

**So anyway, we can put you 11-12 years after the end of canon because this means we just have to insert your birth at the very end of canon or just after it ended and then let the AU go forward with the most likely scenarios.**

"Oh, that's not so bad!"

**However,**

**it will not be safe.**

**We have found that our chosen grow much faster, exponentially so, when put through strife or faced with adversity.**

**We lose some this way, true, but the loss is negligible.**

_Cold._

"So what does this mean for me, exactly?"

**There will be dangerous events and villainous groups targeting the magical community or the younger generation even if we just let the Universe run through its most likely events in those 12 years.**

**You will not be facing them right away but they will be there after a few years.**

**You will also be facing some … minor … disputes at Hogwarts.**

"Oh that's fine. I suspect going through at least 5 years of Hogwarts without suspense would be dull otherwise. Can you ensure that Hermoine and Daphne Greengrass never married?"

**Evidently. The most logical event right after the end of canon is the separation of the pairing of Ronald and Ms. Granger.**

**Ms. Greengrass was never paired up so we can even put her in Hogwarts as a teacher if you want since there will be a position to teach the muggleborn about magical culture.**

"Thank God! Er, wait, who do I even praise anymore? The divines? Maybe?" _Anyway it never made sense to pair up The Idiot with Hermoine. I bet the Author regretted it after the fact as well._

"How will it work logistically? Since you'll put me in 11-12 years AFTER I was born where did I come from, on paper? Will I have parents somewhere in that Universe, what about money?"

**You're an emancipated orphan from a side branch of an old Bloodline and you will get a certain monthly stipend from the main vault until you're 15 years of age. At which point you will get limited access to the main vault.**

**It's a sizeable stipend and you will have your own apartment in Diagon Alley with a house elf for the holidays.**

_That's something at least. I doubt I'd be able to fake being a good son if I hadn't actually lived with them for a decade_.

"That's fine. Is there anything else?"

**You will be put in your place of residence right before the person that will guide you through the Alley for your Hogwarts purchases knocks on your door.**

**That should be all, everything else will be explained as you have the relevant encounters.**

"Like what?"

**You'll see.**

"Motherf- fine! Send me away!" _Cheapskates always trying to be mysterious and shit, typical R.O.B. behaviour._

**You'll black out and enter a sleep state as we integrate your consciousness with your new body.**

**Have no fear, you have been provided with the optimal body alongside the specifications that most previous male Gamers left behind.**

**The Growing of said body will be up to you.**

**Night night!**

***BEEP BEEP BEEP … BEEP BEEP BEEP***

…

***BEEP BEEP BEEP … BEEP BEEP BEEP***

"Ffffffffuck what a trip … "

I fling out my left arm to brush alongside the top of the radio to turn it to snooze-mode but all I feel is my arm being encased in softness.

_Not the softness of a body of the fairer sex but that of a heavenly bed. Better than anything I ever slept in that's for sure._

I fling out my right arm and end up with most of the same thing. _Big bed._

***BEEP BEEP BEEP … BEEP BEEP BEEP***

_Where is this shit even coming from?! It's like it's coming from my head!_

**That is because it IS coming from your head!**

**WAKEY WAKEY IT'S DAY-BREAKEY!**

"EEEK!" I yell in a truly manly voice as I jerk awake from the voice I just heard inside my head only to slowly remember everything that happened last night.

_Was it actually last night?_

**Well once you start dealing in Multiverses and Alternative Accelerated Timelines, time kind of starts to lose its meaning.**

**But yes, from your perspective it was technically just last night that we last spoke.**

"Okayyy … So will you always be around to chat with or … ?"

**I should always be available, yes.**

_My own personal voyeur, fantastic._

**I can hear that.**

_CRAP! _"Crap!"

…

"So what is your personality based on anyway? You seem kind of familiar but I kind of want to punch you in the face."

**The personality of every Gaming Interface is decided by that of its wielder. This ensures optimal efficiency in interactions between them.**

**So the reason you want to punch me in the face … is because I'm a lot like you. Meaning you're someone you would want to punch in the face.**

"That … makes more sense that I wish it did … " _Wow, I'm more of an ass than I thought I was._

**By going through a moment of profound insight you gain: Wisdom +1!**

"What the! You cheeky fucker!"

**Don't worry about it, the early days are the easiest to grind attributes through random (un)intended actions.**

**You, however, have no time to look at your status at the moment as the person responsible for escorting you is almost here.**

"Right! Thanks for reminding me! Having to make people wait on you is awkward as hell."

I get up from the huge bed I'm in, a canopied bed at that, and look around the room. _Big room._

It's not QUITE posh, but it's almost there.

The furniture looks borderline antique, most cloth surfaces look like velvet and a lot of it is adorned with gold linings. _Either my 'Ancient Family' is well rich or this is a gift from the Game._

**The Grimm family really is that rich and this is one of their local properties, the smallest one actually, that you have access to.**

_Grimm? Like from Brothers Grimm?_ _OK that's pretty cool._

I look around to find a huge closet with a tall mirror in the door and finally have a look at my new appearance that is supposedly close to a 'perfect form'.

…

Ok yea that's pretty close to perfect.

My hair is a very weird pitch black that still manages to look silky smooth but it also has a weird sheen to it that almost looks grey when I look at it from the corner of my eye. They went full cliché with the eyes and gave me some of the most startling azure blue eyes I've ever seen outside a magazine. _All I need now is a white dragon form. Heh._

There's a slight exotic tilt to the edge of my eyes that doesn't entirely look western. If I had to guess I have some Asian roots.

But even though I have Asian roots I'm quite tall. I'm only supposed to be 12 years old or so but I'm around 1,65m which is not the tallest I've ever seen for that age but it's pretty darn close.

This body has also clearly been made with the intention of having practiced a pretty intense sport and I'm clearly seeing the starting of a six-pack and some other well defined muscles. I feel really limber as well and I could probably touch my toes if I tried.

… and I'm wearing 'The Gamer' shorts … _Hilarious._

I look around and find what I assume is my outfit in a neatly folded pile. Grey shirt with black faded jeans, a leather jacket and boots. And sunglasses … _Do wizards even have sunglasses?_

I quickly get dressed since apparently I'm out of time and look in the mirror one final time before I head out.

_God I look like one of those cliché bad boys. Almost like John Travolta in Grease._

**Except you can't sing.**

"Yet!"

**Hustle bad boy, she's here.**

"Wow, that did not sound ominous. At. All."

I slide the sunglasses, Reban apparently, in the front pocket of my jacket and leave the room after unlocking the door. _Why locked? _I walk out into a hallway that has a few other doors with actual plaques on them to identify them. Bathroom, guestroom, guestroom, library.

I have my own library? Sweet!

**It's rather bare at the moment, you'll have to fill it up.**

"Yeah yeah, I'm visiting that bookstore later, aren't I? Might even hop into the Muggle part of London and stock up on some normal books as well. No need to ignore the sciences and I doubt the wizarding community is as progressed in the Fantasy and SF scene as the muggle world."

_Those heathens!_

I exit the hallway to walk into a big open space that is divided into parts, Sitting room with comfy looking seats, a coffee table and a marble fireplace on the right side, a dining table in the middle and an open kitchen on the left with one of those breakfast bars you always see on the TV.

_Hold up, that's obviously the biggest refrigerator I've ever seen, how do wizards even have that?_

**It's enchanted. The Grimm family has never been as isolated from the muggle world as most people would expect.**

"Cool, modern amenities!"

I'm about to head to the, frankly MASSIVE, refrigerator to pour myself one glass of whatever the fuck is available but I'm interrupted.

*knock, knock*

"Who's there?"

_WOOPS, I answered that way too fast. Too many knock, knock jokes?_

Whoever is outside did not hear me, apparently. Silence Wards? Amazing sound proofing? The walls or door don't LOOK very sound absorbing so it must be a ward or enchantment.

I head to the door and open it to the very last person I expected to see but one I fervently wished to meet as soon as possible.

As I'm somewhat dazed and staring at them they take the initiative in introducing themselves.

"Good morning! I am Professor Hermoine Granger and I'm responsible for guiding you through your purchases in Diagon Alley! It's nice to meet you Young mister Grimm!"

_Blimey_

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**AUTHOR NOTES: This is my first dive into the world of published stories and I suspect it won't be that smooth a ride. I'm not a native English speaker and even if I have a lot of experience using English orally I don't particularly have the belief that everything I write will be top notch. So if you see glaring mistakes or little booboos in the story, give us a ring!**

**I'm also going to be experimenting, throughout this fic and others I'm writing on the side, with perspective and past or present tense. This one will be written in a rather Deep POV to try and give it a more ... movie/anime/action type feel. I personally prefer the stories where you can lose yourself in the perspective of the main character and follow along his footsteps so that is how I'll be writing this one, I think.**

**The MC isn't an SI but I'll be trying to put myself into the shoes of my character to give him some quirks that are similar to mine just to try and make the character feel a bit more realistic.**

**Keep in mind, this will be a rather Anti-Hero type MC.**


	2. Goblins! And Dey-Gone Alley!

**I've had some concerns about the center aligned text and I assure you it is something I thought about a fair bit. I'm usually only a fan of using center aligned text for things like songs and poems or prophecies in classic fantasy novels.**

**However I needed to make a clear distinction between messages generated by the System, which the MC sees as a form of text in opaque windows, and the actual responses from the Personality AI which MC hears as actual spoken words. I was afraid that putting them both as left centered would have made it a lot more confusing and I would have needed to put the AI's replies in between quotation marks.**

**This chapter and the previous one also have a lot more of said text due to the exposition happening but the amount should drop down significantly as the novel gets going.**

**Also, for those who like litRPG, rejoice for ahead is an info dump.**

**And for those that don't like litRPG, beware for ahead is an info dump.**

**I however believe I gave it a suffiently original twist to make it slightly more pleasant to read. Let me know, yea?**

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING!**

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**CHAPTER 2 : Dey-Gone Alley**

Okay so maybe not quite the last person I expected. Voldemort and Bumblemore would top those lists. Them being dead and all.

It appears we're both somewhat startled by the other's appearance as Hermione seems to lose herself somewhat in looking at my eyes.

Whereas I … _HOLY FUCKING SHIT EMMA WATSON IS SO HOT! _Although she looks somewhat different from the Emma Watson on my Earth, likely because of the rejuvenating properties of magic.

"*cough* It's a pleasure meeting you Ms Granger, or would you prefer it if I called you Professor Granger?"

She blinks a few times in succession and seems to gather herself with a smile. _Is that a hint of red in her cheeks or it that wishful thinking?_

"When we're not in school you're more than welcome to call me Ms Granger, or even Hermione, " She explains happily. " but in school it's best you observe propriety and call me Professor."

She seems oddly enthusiastic for someone having to do something that should be, at best, a slightly annoying task. Guiding young schoolchildren around a magical shopping area can't be that high up peoples lists for things they enjoy doing during the holidays.

"You seem oddly chipper this early in the day miss Granger." I slightly tilt my head to look at how she'll respond.

"Apologies!" Ah there's the blush again. "It's not every day that I get the opportunity to meet someone from an Ancient Family that hasn't already been submerged in their traditions and knowledge of the magical world."

"Oh, are you perhaps intending to corrupt my innocent young mind pro-fes-sor~ ?"

**Through no effort of your own you have discovered the skill Flirting (LVL 1)!**

I can feel my eyebrows starting to twitch and a minor tick with my right eyelid is on the verge of starting again.

Hermione straightens up in indignation but I can see a hint of red in her cheeks, again. She's quite easy to tease and I find myself wondering what happened in the last 11-12 years for her to become so easily flustered.

"Of course not! It's just that … " She seems to lose track of her train of thought after that and sort of just looks at me. _Is she hella thirsty or just really agitated? The way she hops from one emotion to another is disturbing. Don't tell me it's PMS?!_

_Stab in the dark let's go!_

"It's just that you expected more things to change after fall of Voldemort and this is not the society you imagined when you found out you could do magic?

And so through personal efforts you're going to try and change the opinions of the old families even if you have to do it on your own?"

Her eyes widen almost to the point of hilarity as she looks at me like I just read her mind. Cannon knowledge with some logic – ahoy!

She seems to collect herself after that and gives me a slightly amused smile. "Indeed, but I suppose we've tarried long enough. About time we got to shopping, don't you think?"

I reply with a smile "Quite."

I step outside and close the door behind me with a key that miraculously appeared in my pocket and follow Hermione who has started towards the elaborate staircase.

As I'm walking down the stairs it occurs to me that I never saw the house elf I'm supposed to own.

**They only appear when you ask them to or when you have given them a task they need to fulfil in your presence.**

_I see … shame, I could have given him or her some commands to deal with some things. Maybe ask him to stock up on some commodities depending on what we have in the apartment._

_How long until the start of the schoolyear?_

**We are currently the 2****nd**** of August, so slightly less than a month.**

_Yeah I'll need some commodities. Hold on, is this my chance to eat as many packs of Doritos as I want?!_

We finally get to the bottom of the staircase, seems like I'm on the second floor, and exit out the front door that is being manned by a grumpy looking wizard. Said wizard seems to brighten up as soon as he sees me. "Ah young master Grimm, heading out for yer Hogwarts buyin' are ye?"

I give him a small grin. "That I am, I suspect I'll be a while."

He sniggers after shooting a glance at Hermione. "Aye I bet you will be. Anyways, I'll be 'ere until late at night so take yer time."

I give him a slight bow and a smile as I reply. "Thank you for working so hard for our sakes."

The doorman, whose name I still don't know, snorts and waves me off as I walk through the door with Hermione. _I really need an Appraisal skill, it would be really handy to have whilst shopping._

I turn to the frankly stunningly beautiful young woman next to me. "I hope you had no trouble getting inside? I can't remember if I warned them that I was expecting company or not."

Her smile is only a little tight around the edges as she seems to slightly glare at the door that closed behind us. "Don't worry about it, I've encountered a lot worse in my duties as a professor."

_Oho, not all sunshine in the land of Hermione Granger eh? Luckily there's a dashing young man available to ease your burdens my sweet! *cough* WOW! I didn't know I could cough in my mind. Is this the true power of the Gamer?!_

As it turns out my apartment building is located right next to Gringotts. _Talk about prime real estate!_

"First we'll have to visit the bank to get your money and manage your account. As you're still a minor, even though you're allowed to live alone, you require your designated guardian or someone they appointed to accompany you every time you want to do business in the bank."

I look at her with intrigue since I thought I was an emancipated minor.

"And who is my designated guardian, if I may ask?"

That seems to brighten her up a bit, "As it turns out I am the one you will be seeing the most of!"

"Lucky me." I give her a sly smile as I say this. Yet again, her cheeks turn slightly red.

**Through shameless dedicated efforts your skill Flirting has levelled up to (LVL 2)!**

*twitch*

_Oy oy, is Hermione a shotacon or am I really that handsome? Or is there something in my status causing this?_

_Oh who am I kidding, I AM that handsome, ehehehe._

Speaking of my status, as we walk towards Gringotts I'm starting to wonder about when I'll have enough time to finally have a look at it and my skills and possible perks. After that I'll have to put in a 'concentrated effort' to finally get my Appraisal or Observe skill. After all, walking through a magical shopping district without my most useful tool is not the smartest thing to do. _Or is my inventory my most useful tool? … meh._

We finally arrive at the entrance to Gringotts and as I look to the side I can see the rather iconic verse that Young boy Harry once read.

_Enter, stranger, but take heed_

_Of what awaits the sin of greed_

_For those who take, but do not earn_

_Must pay most dearly in their turn_

_So if you seek beneath our floors_

_A treasure that was never yours_

_Thief, you have been warned, beware_

_Of finding more than treasure there_

… _Does anybody else find this creepy?_

I must have said that out loud because I'm suddenly very aware that the 2 Goblin statues on either side of the entrance weren't statues at all, but rather Goblins in full platemail, as they're grinning and chuckling away at my, no doubt, funny exclamation.

The one on the right closes its right eye while peering over its bulbous nose while having a crooked grin with those nasty pointed teeth you expect from a Goblin.

"Take heed young Wizard!"

After some more chuckling it appears they've had enough and return to their normal stoic, statue-like appearances.

I take a peek at Hermione, who is looking at me with a rather peculiar expression and ask "Is this normal for them?"

She glances at the Goblins who are still acting stoic and professional. As she starts walking inside she finally replies.

"No, it is not."

_Well if that's not sign of things to come, I don't know!_

As we enter the building I'm once again reminded of the discrepancies I'm likely to run into between this world and the fictional world of HP. Unlike the dark and moody interior suggested by the book and shown by the movies this Gringotts is clearly all about professionalism and clean looks and most of all, brightness. Just like the outside is a cliché example of the splendours that are Bank buildings and not the crooked appearance from the movies at all, so is the inside fancy as well. Everywhere I look I see pristine marble floors and walls, with expensive looking carpets in front of the amazingly expensive looking desks of the Counters.

The brightness is the real surprise since I can't seem to find the exact source of the light anywhere. No sun or candles can turn the inside of a massive marble hall this bright and clear.

As we approach one of the many counters I finally take a look at the Goblins themselves. While the two guarding the door outside and the ones placed at every pillar on the inside don't fill me with much confidence in their looks, the ones sitting at the desks have a cleaner and more sophisticated look.

As I'm approaching one of them, one Cleaveclaw, it is however obvious from looking at his eyes that though they may look more sophisticated, they are still fierce and vicious beings. Perhaps even more so than the guards.

As we stop just in front of his desk, which is filled with stacks of paper and bags of what I assume is money, he finally addresses us.

"What can Gringotts do for you this fine morning."

I'm about to reply with one of those respectful goblin greetings fanfictions keep claiming are the right thing to say but Hermione beats me to it.

"Good morning sir, I'm here with my charge, young master Grimm, to draw money from his account for his Hogwarts purchases."

_Oh Hermione._

The way she tries to talk to the Goblin in a most respectful tone brings to mind the young girl that tried to fight for House Elf freedom. And as a warrior race that respects strength, deviousness, fierceness and gold it is clear that it is the wrong way to address them.

However it looks like they're used to all sorts of greetings, no doubt from the many idiotic wizard customers they get, as Cleaveclaw merely raises an eyebrow and with a sneer replies.

"And does this young master Grimm have anything to say?" _Wow Goblins are really good at sneering. Those teeth really add that extra oomph!_

Hermione seems to take her role as a guardian quite serious and obviously intends to reply in my stead, no doubt in a tone significantly less respectful than her previous one, but I can't let her sour my relations with the Goblins so I interrupt her by slightly touching her shoulder with my right hand and giving her a smile.

I turn back to the Goblin to greet him. "Greetings Master Cleaveclaw and may your enemies fall before you. I am here to withdraw part of my yearly stipend as a member of the Grimm Family." Making sure to keep a firm and even tone, not condescending nor deferential.

My greeting seems to have amused the Goblin but he replies seriously none the less.

"Well met young man, but what you just said is usually a greeting reserved for Respected Warriors of the Goblin Nation. And while I have been known to slay a beast or two I am still primarily a Banker and thus your greeting should have complimented my wealth instead."

Apparently the more he spoke the more amused he became as at the end of his speech he's nearly holding a Cheshire grin on his face.

_Bugger, I knew fanon information was too good to be true._

Since he gave me a slightly snarky answer, let us see if he'll appreciate one back.

"I stand corrected Sir Goblin with the shiny vault, I hope you can ignore this small oversight so we can head towards a shinier and wealthier future together!" _Full sass, engage!_

It seems my reply wasn't a faux-pas as not only Cleaveclaw but many of the Goblins surrounding our position also laugh at my sassy reply. The laughter of Goblins is not a pleasant thing to hear. It's not hard on the ears but there's a cruelty and viciousness to it that feels as close to alien as anything I've ever felt. I have to remind myself yet again that this is an entirely different being than us humans. And to proceed with heed indeed. _For here there be monsters …_

The laughter soon ends and I can even see some of them wiping away a tear of laughter here and there. Their interactions with humans must be more boring than I expected if they respond this way.

"It is always refreshing to come across specimens like you young master Grimm, I do believe the last person to amuse us so was the famous mister Potter." As he says this he looks at Hermione and raises his eyebrows in amusement. Something she clearly can't appreciate as she huffs, crosses her arms underneath her sizable bust and looks away in chagrin.

"Enough fun, since as they say time is money and I believe you have a rather full day ahead of you, still. You will have to come with me as I show you to your family vault's manager, Ragnuk, and he will sort you out."

"Not YOU, miss Granger." Cleaveclaw says as Hermione makes a motion to follow along "This is private family business and even Guardians aren't allowed entrance. Have a seat at the entrance to the offices if you wish to wait for young master Grimm, instead."

He clearly takes her agreement for granted and starts walking towards a pair of huge doors that seemingly swing open without anyone touching them. _Magic, I suppose._

Cleaveclaw sees me looking at the doors and gives a slight chuckle. "Every Master Goblin is outfitted with an enchanted keystone to automatically control any and all apparatus in the bank. The only people that have more access are the Managers."

It seems I have accrued a fair bit of goodwill with the Goblins, this one at least, and If I could see my relations tab I'm sure I could see how far along to trusted ally or whatnot I actually am. _If I ever get access to my status, that is._

As we walk down the elaborate hallway towards my manager's office I'm surprised by the amount of doors we pass by. All have signs that state every door belongs to the office of a Manager. A couple of dozen, at least. The hallway itself is in a slightly darker tone than the entryway and main hall. Darker marble and a lot more of it with odd lamps every now and then, casting shadows against the floor from the potted plants they have at every door.

The plants themselves seem odd, and while I'm no expert on magical plants I'm sure they're not the usual magical flora you find above ground.

Throughout this all Cleaveclaw has obviously been observing me and seems amused by the curiosity I'm showing towards the plants but doesn't seem inclined to explain what they are. It seems every interaction with a Goblin is akin to a transaction and I must have ran out of social credit with his previous explanation. If I want to know more it would seem I need to be the one initiating the vocal exchange.

But before I can ask him anything we arrive at a pair of double doors.

I only now notice that the doors have changed from elaborate single doors to extravagant double doors and can only assume this is the part of the hallway with the more important Managers. Clearly the Grimm Family is a lot wealthier or more influential than I originally thought.

Next to the doors to the office is a big shiny sign stating: 'Office of Ragnuk, enter and be welcome.'

Cleaveclaw motions to the door and addresses me.

"Enter now, young master Grimm and I hope for your sake that you are who you claim to be. And whatever you do, do not disrespect Ragnuk. He is more Goblin than most and does not suffer fools gladly."

I give him a nod even though I'm wondering about what would make another Goblin claim that a person is more Goblin than him. "Many thanks for indulging my curiosity and for leading me here Banker Cleaveclaw. May your vaults be filled with golden splendour."

"And may you find the fortune you are looking for, master Grimm." He states as he strides away. No hobbling or creeping to be seen, these are clearly a warrior race and the fluid and firm way he walks proves this. _Best 'take heed' of his warning then._

I face the doorway and give it a firm two knocks. _Hard door._

It would seem the door is another way to intimidate customers since the lack of door knocker requires people to do it by hand. Too weak and the Goblin inside won't hear it or might ignore it, too hard and he'll hear it but you're likely to hurt your hand. Which is weird since a lot of the doors I passed did have knockers.

A smooth but strong voice yanks me out of my thoughts.

"Enter."

I open the door to an office that should not have fit in the space the hallway provides it. It should clip at least half of the offices on either side. _More magic shenanigans._

The inside of the office is a significant display of wealth. There is a section with amazingly comfortable and expensive looking sofas with a table in the middle, no doubt for more cordial meetings and most of the furniture I can see is of a beautiful reddish-brown type of wood with an amazing finish.

Another thing to note is that wealth is not the only thing displayed. Along the walls I can see a variety of weaponry and trophies, most of which are the heads of all manner of beast I have never seen before. The one trophy I do recognize, however, is the head of a Basilisk hanging right above desk of Ragnuk, eyes replaced with a prismatic type of gemstone I've yet to encounter. A smaller head than the one from the movies, but not by much.

This finally brings me to the Goblin, Ragnuk, himself who seems awfully pleased by the awe I showed upon entering his office.

And to the fact that he is not alone, for standing next to him is probably the prettiest example of a Goblin I've seen to date, both here and in fictional comic books.

It is obvious that she is a female Goblin from the sharp teeth she shows in her grin, no doubt brought about by my surprise at her presence, and her ears which are pointy and tone of skin which is a more gentle green-grey than Ragnuk. She is also rather beautiful, with clear eyes with red iris' and long auburn hair stuck in a loose ponytail swung over the front of her shoulder hanging all the way down to her hips, held to her body by her soft looking hands which are also holding a clipboard filled with papers.

She seems to be wearing a rather professional grey business suit, showcasing all the right curves a female, regardless of race, should have.

A cough brings my attention back to Ragnuk who, instead of pleasure, is now showing amusement with a clear edge of viciousness. Obviously, if I am here to waste his time things might not end well for me.

"Greetings esteemed Manager Ragnuk," I glance around at all the weapons being showcased "may your enemies flee before you and provide with many rich spoils."

He quickly turns serious. "And to you, young man, but let us speak rather about why you are here. Apparently you claim to be one young master Grimm, member of the Ancient Family?"

He says this while he looks at a slip of paper that appeared in his hands while I wasn't looking.

It takes me a while to realize but I finally widen my eyes in surprise. _How did he know? Cleaveclaw never gave him anything!_

It seems Ragnuk noticed my surprise but decided not to say anything, obviously this is not the first time someone reacts like me.

He looks down at some papers and exchanges a brief look with the female Goblin standing next to him. _Goblina? Goblinette?_

"We'll have to draw some of your blood to do an ascendancy test to ensure that you are who you claim to be. If it is found out you are lying you will be fined depending on the severity of the claim. On the other hand, it is entirely possible other familial bands might come to light."

He then waves his hand at the Goblinette next to him who promptly opens a drawer on the desk and takes out a vial with runes running down the length and a similarly adorned ceremonial looking dagger. As she walks over to me Ragnuk speaks to me again.

"This is my daughter, Ragnild, who is interning with me to learn about Managing a family account. She will be the one replacing me as Manager for the Grimm Family when I turn myself to matters of the Goblin Nation."

Ragnild stops before me and hands me the vial and dagger with a small smile and challenging look in her eyes.

"The vial opening is enchanted to attract the blood leaving the wound to ensure you don't spill any on your pretty clothes." She says with a more beautiful voice than I expected from a Goblin, female or not.

As I accept the items it occurs to me that nothing is being said about the enchantments on the dagger, but there's probably a healing enchantment on it to close wounds shortly after the bleeding. It is unlikely they would enjoy cleaning up after every blood test. They probably don't mention it as another test of character for their customers.

I hold the ceremonial looking dagger in my right hand and lightly draw it across the palm of my left hand. The easy way with which the skin and flesh parts before the blade is slightly disconcerting, as I'm imagining it being used on the arteries of someone instead.

Blood quickly flows out of the wound and down the horizontal crease of the middle of my palm and into the vial held underneath between my knees. Another way to amuse themselves, perhaps? Watching people trying to juggle a knife, the wound and the vial at the same time must be amusing at times.

**-10 HP**

**Wound: Bleeding I (-10 HP/MIN)**

Luckily I somewhat expected a message to pop up after injuring myself and the pain itself only makes me blink my eyes a few times so I don't alert the Goblins or shame myself in front of them. I've had worse after all. Death not included.

The vial quickly fills up and the runes along its length flash a few times, showing to me that the vial and dagger are linked in some way through said runes as the dagger flashes in return and causes my wound to quickly mend shut, leaving no proof of any injury whatsoever.

**+10HP**

**Bleeding I effect removed**

She quickly takes back the vial after putting in a glass stopper that looks to be similarly enchanted and after also accepting the dagger from me she heads towards a door I completely missed in my earlier observation hidden in the far right back corner.

Ragnuk gives me a brief look before he takes a sword out. _Where the hell did he get that sword from?_

"She'll likely be a while so you will have to be patient. Rest assured that according to Goblin laws and the laws agreed upon with the wizards your blood will never be used for any purpose other than identification unless explicitly specified by yourself."

After easing a worry that had started to creep forward in my mind he turns to his sword and starts polishing it. _That really was something to worry out, I don't want to imagine the amount of rituals that use the blood of a mage._

As it seems I have some time to myself I start off by having another look at his desk. It truly is a magnificent piece of art, the best I've seen so far. Better than anything in the Grimm Apartment.

After looking at the beautiful way the dark auburn grains flow across the reddish-brown surface I come to the conclusion that unless there's a similar magical wood the desk is most likely made out of Mahogany.

**Through consecutive observations and your inquisitive mind you have unlocked the skill Observe(LVL 1)!**

**Observe is now LVL 2!**

**Exquisite Massive Mahogany Desk (Magical)**

**Value: immeasurable**

_Well, that answers that! Where have you been little skill?_

The acquisition of the **Observe **skill made a small amount of information flow into my brain in the most peculiar manner. Almost like I read the information and retained a 100% of it without actually seeing the text.

With this information comes the knowledge of how to use it, and most importantly, how to use it on myself.

**Because it is your first time viewing your status most things will have explanations in brackets provided by your local System. **_Oh bollocks._

**Status **

**Name: **Haiiro Grimm

**Title:** The Gamer (well, not THE Gamer since there's quite a few of them even though none of them are around- you know what, never mind)

**Alignment: **Neutral (Pssh, yea right)

**Race: **Homo Magi[100%](+100% Increase in efficiency of the attributes: END, INT, WIS and CHA)

**Class: **Needs to be decided by Gamer

**Profession(s):** Student[Wizard](For Perks see the Perks tab, you lazy git!)

**TOTAL LVL: 1**

**HP**(the attribute, not the fiction)**[(STR+END)x5]***

150/150 (1.5 regen per minute, (STR+END)/20)*

**MP[INTx10]***

200/200 (2.2 regen per minute,WIS/10)*

**SP[ENDx10]***

200/200 (2.0 regen per minute, END/10)*

*Effective values

**STR – 10**

**END – 10(20)**

**AGI – 10**

**INT – 10(20)**

**WIS – 11(22)**

**PER – 12**

**CHA – 10(20)**

**LCK – 10**

**AP**(Attribute Points):**0**

**GP**(Gaming Points): **0**

**-SKILLS**

**-PERKS**

**-****TRAITS**(No notable traits so far, git gud)

**-INVENTORY**

**-MINIMAP**

**-REPUTATION**

_Oh bollocks, this is going to be an infodump isn't it?_

**Would you rather you didn't know your own statistics?**

_No I suppose not. But did you really have to put flavour text in behind things?_

**Oh, there's more.**

_Fantastic … Well, let's have a look… That's a pretty strong Race to start out with, a lot better than basic human._

I have a look across my attributes and immediately notice that my resource generation of HP, MP and SP is decided by the effective values of my attributes as opposed to their base values, which makes me believe that bonuses I get from items will also count towards boosting my very meagre Hitpoints or Mana. _If I can find any._

I'm assuming I'll gain AP upon level-ups or quest completions, same for those weird Gaming Points. _A system shop? How … cliché?_

I open the minimap and since it says everything is interactive I try to will it towards the very top right of my vision. I immediately notice something I did not expect however, and that is the fact that it's an exploration type map and only shows the areas I've already discovered. The good thing about it is that it's retroactively naming the places I have already discovered since I'm currently in: Gringotts, Manager Area, Ragnuk's Office. And I can see my place marked as: Grimm Apartment Complex. _Does that mean my family owns the entire building and I'm just living in ONE of the apartments in it? Yikes._

Inventory doesn't have anything yet but at least I found out I could put a nifty little item hotbar at the bottom of my view. That should allow me to swap between weapons or consume potions significantly faster than opening the inventory and doing it that way.

I realize I can't keep avoiding the issue and commit myself to finally have a look at my **Skills **and **Perks**.

Before I do anything, however, I try and test to find out if I can look at my screens whilst having my eyes closed. So far I've been looking around the office and making it look like I'm inspecting every weapon to avoid the suspicion of Ragnuk. I don't want to be seen reading off an invisible list since it would be disastrous if he decides to pay even more attention to me than he already is. _Yeah that's right you sneaky Goblin, I've seen your glances! Shouldn't have paid so much attention to his daughter, bugger._

After closing my eyes and confirming that I can still see my **Status** I take up a pensive pose. Right leg crossed over the left one, elbow on my knee and my chin in my hand with my eyes closed. As if I'm thinking about something, ruminating or simply waiting in a relaxed manner. Crossing my legs is a lot more uncomfortable than I remember, which makes me a bit scared that when I look down my boxers later on I'll find a tool of mass destruction. _I hope they didn't go overboard with the merchandise._

After my eyes are closed I finally face the true villain of today, the infamous infodump.

**[SKILLS]**

**[THE GAMER]**

**[The Mind]**

**A Gamer's mind is his own.**

Protects your mind from outside influences and calms you when your emotions reach debilitating proportions. Allows you to intake huge amounts of information at once (through skill books, skill evolution, class growth, class advancement or other means).

Is incapable of blocking the influence of beings that are too powerful compared to User (Minor God vs Human, Elder God vs Minor God, Cosmic Entity vs Elder God, etcetera).

**[The Body]**

**A Gamer's body is his own to mould.**

Your body is amazingly adaptable and capable of tremendous growth. It also heals your wounds completely as long as your regeneration is functioning. Disfigurement and Dismemberment aren't permanent unless your regeneration is stopped for more than 72 hours.

The User does not require sustenance nor does he need to relieve himself.

Sleep provides additional regeneration and gives a bonus to EXP acquisition and physical skill growth for a day, depending on comfort (requires a minimum of 5 hours of sleep).

**[The Goods]**

**A Gamer's possessions are his own to control.**

The User has an Internal Interactive Pseudo-infinite Inventory Interface (IIPII) to manage all his portable possessions. With the exception of the Auto Loot System the User is required to be able to lift the intended object and to be touching it before storage of said object is possible (scales with the attributes of User).

The different possible interactions are for the User to explore.

IIPII has the capacity for improvements when interacting with new Worlds, Dimensions or World Laws.

**[Never had a friend like me!]**

**A Gamer is never alone.**

To ensure the optimal state of the User's psyche every one of you is given a Personal System AI to ensure you're never alone! Behavioural characteristics are based on those of the User him/herself so don't be too much of an ass! Ask it anything!

_But one friend is never enough so go out there and make some more! Literally, if you have to!_

**[GENERAL]**

**Observe [LVL 2]**

_A sense of curiosity is Nature's original school of education._

Find out information of the things you look at. This skill is limited by your own Perception attribute and the potential level of your target of observation.

Gives PER + (1 * LVL)

**Flirting [LVL 2]**

_Ooh la la, voulez vous coucher avec moi?_

Provides a positive correction to all perceived actions of the User towards people of the sex that the user is attracted to.

Increase in Reputation or Affection gain with people where User succeeded in using the **Flirting **skill.

**[PERKS]**

**[RACE]**

**Homo Magi**

To ensure that your constitution is viable in all the possible magical worlds you have been given a special race to accommodate the use of mana. _Lucky you, most people in the worlds you visit don't get perks like this, you know!_

+100% increase in efficiency of the attributes: END, INT, WIS and CHA

Positive correction in acquisition and usage of any and all magical abilities.

**[CLASS]**

**[PROFESSION]**

**Student[Wizard]**

+50% increase in Growth of all related skills and attributes. Will be lost upon expulsion or graduation.

Increase in reputation gains with other students or professors. _Don't be a loner!_

Marginal increase in the likelihood of the procurement of school related titles.

Automatically advances to **Wizard **upon graduation (current world graduation level is: OWLs).

**/**

_That seems to be all of it. Could have been worse I suppose …_

I glance at the annoying but frustratingly familiar flavour text and again wish I could punch my System AI.

_Well at least it made the whole thing more interesting to read. Now let us have a look at how my __**Flirting**__ affected Hermoin-_

*BANG* I startle and yank my eyes wide open to see Ragnuk and Ragnild looking at me in amusement, with Ragnild standing at the hidden door she obviously slammed shut to startle me awake. _Hah, fools! I was never asleep!_

They proceed as if nothing happens and Ragnild hands her father a stack of papers and a small leather coin purse with golden stitching along the sides. It's hard to tell but some of the stitching seems to take the form of a wolf or a dog of some sort. _Oh, wait, derp._

I activate my **Observe** while looking at the coin purse.

**Antique Linked Coin Purse of the Grimm Family (Magical)**

**Value: Very High**

_Ooh, is that mine? A bottomless purse attached to my account, perhaps?_

While I wait for Ragnuk to look through the stack of papers I decide to observehim and his daughter, thinking I might get some more easy levels in **Observe** out of it.

**Ragnuk the Second**

**?**

**LVL ?**

**Ragnild**

**Princess**

**LVL ?**

**Affection: 5/100**

**Observe is now LVL 3!**

**Observe is now LVL 4!**

_Isn't this skill a bit too easy to level at the start? Or is it because the items and people I'm observing are of a higher tier than most? I'll have to put in some time to research my skills once I get back to the apartment. Also, Princess? FUCK!_

Ragnuk seems to have finished looking through the paperwork and places the papers down with the coin purse on top of the pile. He then steeples his fingers and peers at me over his hands. _Classic villain pose there old man._

"Well young master, it appears you are indeed a Grimm. Surprisingly enough you're also the Heir Apparent of the Grimm family."

That takes me somewhat by surprise since I clearly remember the System stating I come from a branch of the family, not the main part.

Ragnuk seems to spot my confusion and continues to explain.

"You are one of the only 2 Grimm alive at this point. You, and your grand-uncle. And since your grand-uncle is incapable of siring any more children it will come to you to continue the line."

This causes me to rethink some of my plans. Since I wasn't that politically powerful but still marginally important enough it would have giving me the opportunity to associate with both the Family Heirs AND the more common rabble. Now that I'm the only remaining heir of a rather important Ancient Family I'm going to be under a lot more scrutiny, so I'll have to hide any less than legal actions I might want to take even more.

"Since your grand-uncle is currently abroad on one of his other exploration trips there are several default allowances that you are being given on top of your yearly stipend. One of them is this leather coin purse which is linked to your personal vault in which your stipend will be deposited every year upon the 1st of August. All you have to do is put a drop of your blood in the opening and it will allow you to draw as many coins from it as your vault can support. You can select what type of coinage you want to withdraw by touching one of these 3 icons."

He shows me 3 moderately sized signs on the inside lip of the coin purse: a Gaelic G in golden stitching, an oddly shaped sickle in silver stitching and some marbles in bronze.

"The enchantment also automatically changes the type of coinage depending on the country you find yourself in. In Magical France, for example, you would find yourself pulling out Bezants."

He puts the purse to the side and picks out a sheet of paper from the bundle of paperwork his daughter handed him.

"Another allowance is the ability to withdraw ONE item of moderate value from the vault each year as long as they're not tagged Lethal. This is quite literal and applies from the moment you pick up the item. If you decide to inspect a pin or a knut, that will be your item for the year, the enchantment will allow for no other outcome."

He puts down the paper and finally looks at me again. I only just now notice that unlike his daughter, who has beautiful yet eerie crimson eyes, Ragnuk has dim golden eyes with a silver core. I suddenly remember that Cleaveclaw appeared to have bronze eyes.

_Tch, Goblins have the coolest eyes. At least I'm taller than them._

"The final allowance is that your yearly stipend is being increased from 500 Galleons to one thousand. Which is a … more than sizable sum for a first-year Hogwarts student whose only expenses should be school supplies. But such is the whimsical nature of the Ancient Families, I suppose." He seems more amused than annoyed by said whimsical behaviour.

He finally takes the coin purse and puts it on my side of the desk, along with an odd sharp looking little contraption that reminds me of the needles we used to use in Biology class to find out our blood type.

"Are there any more questions you might have for me? Time ever flows forward and I have a lot of documents and contracts to prepare now that you have presented yourself to me."

Ragnuk seems almost wistful as he says so, watching as I prick my finger and flick a drop of blood in the purse, linking it to me. The purse flashes with a magically blue light for a moment and then disappears. I would have panicked if not for the slight prickly feeling on my thumb. I look over only to see a head of what I now realize is a Grimm, holding a coin in its mouth, tattooed on the middle segment of my thumb.

As I'm slightly rubbing the still itching spot on my thumb I can't help but to comment on the situation.

"Only 12 and I already have a tattoo. I'm sorry mother, I'm turning into a delinquent."

This seems to amuse Ragnuk as he snorts at my joke and I hear a faint lilting and husky laugh coming from Ragnild. Something that makes me look at her in wonder. But also something that almost makes me growl in annoyance as it makes me realize something.

_Fantastic, I'm going through puberty all over again. More severely than the first time as well, considering the way I'm attracted to a female GOBLIN for fucks sake!_

**You have discovered a minor Trait!**

**Puberty (Magical)**

_Ain't no Gamer's Mind protecting you from this you young whippersnapper you!_

Magical younglings go through a much more extreme process of the globally feared event that is puberty, which results in near maturity both physically as well as mentally by the age of 15 or 16.

It is said that the more Magical prowess one has, the fiercer the hormones will strike.

**Hide yo wives, hide yo children! There's a horny teenager on the loose!**

_You fucktard! It's already bad enough that I feel like humping a female Goblin who is more likely to chop off my bits than reciprocate my advances! _

Ragnuk has already calmed down and looks at my thumb. "All you need to do is think about withdrawing money and your purse should appear. It's quite the interesting enchantment, such a shame your ancestors never gave us permission to inspect the purses, there are only 3 of them left and the person who made them is long gone."

_Right, my question._ "Am I allowed to come by at any point during the holidays to pick out the item from the vault?"

Ragnuk nods at this. "Yes, you can even come by during the schoolyear if you get the approval for it."

He looks at his watch, a Rolex surprisingly enough, and apparently decides he's had enough.

"Well, I believe that is all for today. I will contact you by owl if I have any pertinent information for you and any mail you send to me by owl will be received by my daughter so keep that in mind. Have a good day, Heir Grimm, and may your vault shine in splendour."

To my shame I have been playing with the ability to withdraw and store my coin purse in and out of the tattoo. It seems to draw a minute amount of MP every time I use the enchantment.

I finally get out of my chair and slightly bow my head to the Goblins in respect. So far they're scariest specimens I've met and I doubt that will change in the near future.

"And a good day to you as well Manager Ragnuk and Manager-in-training Ragnild, and may your enemies flee before you."

I finally leave the office and as I close the door behind me in relief I notice the diminutive Goblin standing at my side, clearly waiting to escort me to the main hall.

I look at it in good humour. "I'm fairly certain I'm capable of finding my way back along this straight hallway."

It seems not to care for my humour and shrugs its tiny shoulders. _Is this one of their young or merely a different breed?_

"Every customer must be accounted for at all times, even when the customer thinks they're alone they are never unobserved."

It seems to think that is explanation enough and starts to walk towards the main hall, clearly expecting me to follow. _No reason not to I suppose, I will sate my curiosity about the inside of this place in due time._

After a few minutes we arrive back in the main hall and I can see Hermione sitting on the edge of her chair, obviously impatient, as she's bobbing her legs up and down. _What did she think was going to happen to me in there?_

I walk over to her and greet her with a slight smile on my face, a lot more aware that my **Flirting** skill is affecting every interaction I have with her. Funnily enough fanon is on point with the theory that her mood affects her hair, since her tame and shiny brown hair is suddenly somewhat bristly at the ends.

"I'm sorry for making you wait Ms Granger, there were some loose ends to take care of."

I look over to the big clock at the back of the main hall and notice that I have been gone for slightly longer than 30 minutes and it is already 10 in the morning. I bring up a digital clock on my interface and put it below my map.

As she stands up to greet me I finally do what I wish I could have done as soon as I saw her.

**Hermione Jean Granger**

**Professor Muggle studies and interactions.**

**LVL ?**

Former member of the now disbanded Golden Trio due to the emigration of Ronald Weasley.

Hermione lives with her mother since her father refused to follow his wife, who is now his ex-wife, back to England.

She lost a lot of her fire after the war due to the fact that the population of Magical Britain refused to change for the better by failing to repeal some of their more reprehensible laws such as those against the centaurs, goblins or house elves.

She still retains quite a bit of her drive to change things for the better and shows this by educating the younger generations and thus trying to change them into better versions of their parents.

She is starting to worry that she may never have a lasting relationship due to her headstrong nature and tendency to preach about the problems in today's society.

**Affection: 25/100**

"Not a problem at all younger mister Grimm, while it lasted a bit longer than I expected I guessed something like this might happen upon your first contact with the Goblins. They're sticklers for their contracts and documents, after all."

I nod along with what she's saying but as soon as she finishes I give her a grin and a sentence that appears to be a critical hit.

"You're quite right Ms Granger, but I must insist that you call me Haiiro when we're outside of school. I got more than enough 'young master Grimm'ing from the Goblins while I was inside."

**Hermione Granger: Affection +5!**

**Affection 30/100**

_Sweet baby jebus, is Hermione an easy mode waifu? And she has a lonely MILF sat at home as well. Some magical potions to turn her noice and toight like a toiger and we're good to go for our juicy Oyakodon!_

**Quest received!**

**The mythical Oyakodon!**

**Description: **Get Hermione and her mother to join you in a juicy ménage à trois!

**Reward: **The Perk '**Ooh baby it's a 2 fer 1!**'

**Failure clause: **The death of you, Hermione or her mother. Or the loss of your junk. It's pretty hard to fail this quest.

**Penalty: **You'll have to make do with the dish for now

_Not going to lie, I expected a tutorial quest of some sort as my first one._

…

**Yeah me too.**

**I guess this confirms THAT statistic, bunch of perverts, the lot of you!**

I'm left wanting to respond to my sassy eternal companion but it seems Hermione is recovering from that critical hit faster than I anticipated. She doesn't seem to be opposed to addressing me by my first name, being about the same height as her seems to help a lot with preventing her from seeing me as nothing but a child. Considering the way she reacted it's made me wonder if she is aware of what it means for people to call each other by their given names in Japan. Not that I ever actually lived in Japan but she doesn't know that.

"Very well Haiiro, shall we get going so we can get started on your purchases? I would like to be finished by lunch, if in any way possible." She says as she starts walking towards exit without even making sure I'm following. She is clearly still a bit flustered.

As I start following her I notice that the smile on her face is causing a slight dimple to appear on her cheek and since she's walking slightly in front of me my attention is brought to her other cheeks as her butt looks amazingly tight in those jeans and they just make me want to dig my fingers in them and-

I covertly pinch myself really hard on the side Hermione wouldn't be able to see me do so.

_Down hormones, down! Who knew puberty would be such a bad combination for the perverted side I developed in my 20s. The quest is proof enough that this is a dangerous combination. For me AND the opposite sex._

We leave the bank and cross the plaza towards the main street. It might be called Diagon Alley but it's a bit more than just 1 street.

It's a rather cloudy day, for august, and it's clear to see how this has affected the people visiting the shopping district. There are a few people here and there walking around with ancient looking shopping bags dressed drab grey or black robes and only one family in sight. Assumedly they're also here for their Hogwarts purchases since I doubt Diagon Alley is the place to go to have a good time.

_I suppose there might be some brothels or gambling parlours in Knockturn Alley._

"Well Ms Granger, where to first? I read ahead about this place and there are a few places that seemed interesting to me. Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes is said to hold quite a few interesting things to keep me busy on the train towards Hogwarts."

She seems to lose a bit of her smile then. "Ah, George Weasley shut down the store and followed the rest of the Weasleys to Egypt. I hear he's turned the area surrounding the pyramids quite a bit livelier." She has a wistful, almost nostalgic, smile as she says that.

"Um, ok then, what about Quality Quidditch Supplies?" I'm very much pulling names out of my arse from the few ones I remember from reading the books.

"They're gone as well. And you're not even allowed to play Quidditch in your first year anyway."

"Ok then what about Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions?"

"Aha … she's also gone …" Hermione seems to get sadder and sadder as we go on. _I should probably stop._

"Yikes … "

* * *

**AUTHOR NOTES: I'm not sure when I'm going to be dropping my next chapter, no more than a week. Probably a lot less since my schedule has become a lot more ... fluid ... because of the Corona panic happening around here.**

**I'm also very much restraining myself from going full nerd with the litRPG element since it's something that really interests me. I suppose I might keep the full on munchkinry and math nerding for another novel.**

**I'd like to give a small nod of acknowledgement to 'Shiro the moody canine' ,*cough* I mean Shiro the Dark Wolf, for giving me the inspiration to finally get off my lazy ass and getting to work on something I've wanted to write for quite a while now.**

**Lewds won't be for quite a while in the story, I think.**

**See you nerds later, I suppose.**


End file.
